Chapter 5
Not Alone
Kaisa rubbed her eyes, trying to extend the comfort of her false solitude. She knew that as soon as she opened them again, she’d have to answer to the cat and her mother and the mere thought of it made her press her hands against her face even harder. None of them said anything, and the longer Kaisa stayed blind, the more guilty she felt for being disobedient. She wanted to help, but she also wanted to be left alone.
“Well…I didn’t really see anything in particular. But…”
“Yes?”
The cat circled Kaisa’s legs, brushing her tail against her shins, which managed to calm her down, even though she knew the cat hat little intention to make her feel at ease.
“Someone is looking for him. Someone…Something…No, someone! It has something to do with the moon, I think. But I don’t know what. Someone is…looking, but I don’t think it’s the living world. How would the living world even do that?”
Stumbling over her own words, she tried to avoid her mother’s gaze as much as she could. Why couldn’t she just go to bed.
“Hm…there are some people practicing odd sorcery in the living world. But they tend to lie low, for…historical reasons. They do have their own form of magic there, maybe they’re using that?”
The cat lay down on the floor and stretched out its legs. Kaisa stared down at it, and found her situation deeply unfair. The more relaxed and unbothered the cat looked, the more Kaisa thought she was misreading the situation. Like she was being unreasonable.
“If you’re talking about technology, then no. I don’t think they can use technology to project another moon onto the sky of a hidden world. Even though I think they would appreciate your confidence in them.”
Kaisa walked over to her mother and rested her head on her shoulder, closing her eyes again. Nonni’s hands gently brushed up against her hair, tucking it behind her ears. Sometimes Kaisa wondered if she knew. What she saw when her eyes were closed. Or after she’d gone to bed. Did she just pretend to be oblivious? Kaisa had asked herself that question a lot, and every single time it would make her angry.
She took three deep breaths and pulled away from Nonni’s embrace to pick up Little Bean, snuggling it close while she walked into the living room. The cat didn’t protest. A soft purr vibrated under Kaisa’s fingertips, and she felt at ease at last. Without another word Kaisa released the feline onto the couch, kissed Nonni good night and went to her room.
When she opened the door, Rita had already lain out the futon for Archie, sheets and all. Steve the Artichoke had already made its way under the sheets. What a little dumb face this vegetable had, Kaisa thought and smiled a little. Rita and Archie sat on Kaisa’s bed, looking at a photography book Kaisa had gotten for Christmas. The Whales of Iceland. Sometimes you could see them out in the fjord, feeding and playing. Kaisa always wondered if they could wander between the worlds just like the cats. If, when they disappeared, they would resurface somewhere completely different. Maybe in Reykjavík…
“Have you taken a bath and brushed your teeth?”
“Yes,” Archie said, but his eyes were barely open.
“Good job, you guys. It’s bedtime, that’s for sure.”
Rita nodded. She closed the book and put it back on the little shelf behind Kaisa’s bed. Archie climbed off and into his futon. He put an arm around Steve and looked like he had fallen asleep almost immediately. The futon was so fluffy, Archie seemed to be slowly disappearing into a thick white cloud. Kaisa wondered whether he really understood what was happening here. Whether he missed his mom.
After Kaisa had gotten ready herself, Rita was already waiting for her in bed. They always shared one, and Kaisa couldn’t be more grateful that she slept over so often. They were the only nights she was truly able to find peace. Alone there was only terror.
“What happened?” Rita asked, pulling her blanket all the way up to her ears.
“You mean if I saw something?”
“Yeah.”
“Have you been listening at the door?”
“You mean the door I left open just in case?”
“In case of what?”
“In case of something important happening that I couldn’t miss under any circumstances.”
Kaisa laughed into her pillow.
“I didn’t really see. It’s always very complicated, I told you. I can’t really describe it. But I felt something.”
“You felt something? What did you feel?”
“Someone knows Archie is missing.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Well, just because someone is looking for you doesn’t mean they have the best intentions.”
“I know, I just…I don’t know. I couldn’t tell you either way.”
“Did you see…you know.”
“Briefly. But can we, like, not talk about that?”
“Why is that, though? Does it scare you that much?”
“Yes,” Kaisa whispered, and hoped the conversation would be over. She didn’t even want to think about it, out of fear it would seep into her dreams and wait for her there as soon as she dared close her eyes, waiting for her to turn her back just long enough. She was scared that one day it wouldn’t let her return.
“I will…protect you!”
Kaisa opened her eyes again and met Rita’s, who had inched closer and stared at her with her eyes wide open.
“I will protect you, I promise. I know you’re scared. If something wants to hurt you, no matter what it is, I will punch it in its stupid face.”
Rita pushed herself up and onto her feet, Kaisa still lying under the sheets, staring up at her.
“I will kick it and I will pull its hair and I will…,” she boxed the air once with her left, then her right fist. Then she kicked her foot out right above Kaisa’s head which made her flinch.
“I will kick it a million times.”
She dropped back down into her spot and pulled the sheets up right underneath her nose.
“Well, watching that did indeed terrify me.”
Both started laughing, trying to stay quiet so as not to wake little Archie. They lay face down and laughed into their pillows until their sides ached. Then the two girls took each other's hands and fell asleep.
“I feel like the signs are clear. We have to speak to your daughter. I will do it. With your permission.”
The cat paced up and down in the living room while Nonni watched. She sighed and sank deeper into her chair. The cat was right, as it so often was, but all she could see in her mind’s eye was her daughter, hiding her face behind her hands. Nonni thought about Rita, about herself when she was younger, and how it all just wasn’t fair. All she wanted to do was take it away. Make her a girl like all the others. Just like everybody else. Watch her grow, find friendship, find love, have a family. She’d trade everything for just a glimpse of that happiness for her little girl.
It wasn’t fair.
“I know, but avoiding it will cause more harm. It doesn’t protect her, it protects you. You knew the time would come,” the cat continued, now at her feet. Nonni buried her face in her hands. She just wanted for her child to be safe. Then again, maybe the cat was right. Maybe she was just looking out for herself in the end.
“There is no gain in keeping her from the truth. It doesn’t have to be all of it, but it definitely has to start somewhere. You knew this would happen. He told you, and so did I.“
Nonni didn’t look up, kept her head buried in her hands. How did fourteen years pass so quickly? She thought she had more time, thought this day might never come. Perhaps, she thought, she could just live a normal life after all. But she was wrong.
“There is no bargaining. Your daughter is-”
There was a knock on the door. Three this time.
