Chapter 6

Papercuts

Three knocks were usually nothing to worry about, but three knocks at almost 1:00am was a bit odd. Nonni got up and reached into the little gap between the kitchen counter and the wall. She fumbled and dug around for a while, then withdrew her arm, looking rather confused. She peeked over her shoulder and the key she was just looking for was where she’d left it. Just there in the lock of the front door. Always, without failure, the key would be left in the door and then, just a minute or two after, disappear and reappear in the gap between the kitchen and the wall. Always. 

“You see? You see what I mean, something’s very wrong,” the cat said, now sounding a lot more agitated. Nonni shot it a brief look before she opened the door. When she saw Orla and Thorinn stand before her, her shoulders slightly dropped, daring to shake off the slightest bit of worry, though she hoped the cat hadn’t seen. The poking and worrying of this nervous little feline was starting to make her itchy.

“Well, well, well. Seems like my daughter is sleeping in the same bed as your daughter. Aren’t you ashamed, living in such a frivolous household?” 

For a brief moment, both women allowed themselves to relax and laugh together. Orla out loud, Nonni in silence. 

“Listen, Nonni, I know how late it is, and I am so sorry that we had to bother you. But…Thorinn has seen something. And it might have something to do with that boy. He’s here, isn’t he?”

Nonni nodded and bade them inside with a wave of her hand. Both took off their coats and boots, hung one coat onto the hangers and threw one on the floor. They placed one pair of their boots neatly underneath, but always with one shoe facing the other way. A well rehearsed little dance that ensured they would find everything at a more or less predictable place once they were ready to leave. 

As they sat down on the couch, Nonni walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of white wine. She held it up and raised her eyebrows at Orla.

“You speak my language, woman,” Orla said and both she and her husband didn’t hesitate to make themselves comfortable. 

“Nonni, we’re really sorry we’re bothering you this late. But there is something we both feel like you should know.”

“Her or the child?” 

The cat came slowly around the corner of the couch, brushing its arched back up against it. 

“Kaisa is asleep, so is your kid. And so is the strange boy called Archie. Do you want us to wake them?” 

“No need.”

All their heads turned as Kaisa appeared in the doorway, her hair scrunched up on one side, her eyelids heavy. She was awake, but barely. 

“I let Rita and Archie sleep, they were out cold. What did you see, Thorinn? Something to do with Archie?”

Thorinn shook his head and chuckled lightly. 

“Don’t be so cold with me, come here.” 

Kaisa managed a tired, but honest smile, and walked into his arms. Nonni watched them from the kitchen, and felt their fondness for each other leave a bittersweet sting in her chest. She should be asleep, shouldn’t have to worry about any of this. Nonni eyed Thorinn with a knot in her stomach, but quickly took a deep breath to compose herself. She shouldn’t have opened the door.

“Alright girl, listen. Today, when Magnus and I returned from the farm, we saw something…new. I told you about that egg shaped rock out where we leave the car, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, the rotten egg, two hundred and thirty-five steps from the truck. What about it?” 

“When we walked by the other day, there was a hole in it. Not in the rock per se, but in what looked like the…air.”

Thorinn grimaced and briefly closed his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t fancy sounding like a looney quack all that much. A hole in the air sounds idiotic, but I don’t know how else to describe it. A rip in our world, maybe. Like a hole in a piece of canvas.”

Thorinn’s and Orla’s eyes met and she just gave him a shrug. Kaisa pulled away from his arms and looked him up and down for a moment. Go to bed, Nonni thought. Just go to bed. 

“Listen, that’s not even why we’re here. When we saw it, I wanted to take a peek. Because where there is a hole, there needs to be something on the other side, right? Magnus, you know Magnus, he wasn’t keen. He wanted nothing to do with it. But we both looked. We looked and something looked back.” 

Kaisa let go of Thorinn’s neck and stared up at her mother. For a brief moment she looked almost frightened, but the fear vanished as quickly as it had come and in its stead there was nothing.

“A rip in our world…” Kaisa said, but more to herself.

“Yes…that’s at least how I’d describe it.” 

“And something…looked at you, you said?”

Thorinn nodded, and when he met Nonni’s eyes, he quickly averted his gaze.

“Look, I think we need to put things into perspective here,” Orla said, her words cutting through the air between them like a pair of scissors through a tightly spun yarn. She’d always had an antenna for these kinds of moments. “This might have been something, might have also been nothing. I don’t think we should work ourselves up about this just yet. Especially because it seemed to have appeared at the same time as the boy, no?”

Orla carefully looked Kaisa up and down, but all she did in return was nod and pull at her fingers. Nonni slowly made her way over to the couch, but stopped right before she reached her. The cat was right, it had been right all along. All she was doing was protect herself. From an uncomfortable conversation, from heartache, from her daughter’s pain. As their eyes met and Nonni wanted to take her into her arms, the angry glimmer in Kaisa’s eyes stopped her short.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” 

The rage in her words struck Nonni like a knife. 

“Why don’t you ever say anything? Why do you always just look at me? Stop looking at me!” 

“Kaisa!!!” 

Thorinn’s voice thundered in between them, but enough had been said already. If she could change it, she would. All the things she would do if she only had the power, the means, the proper bargain. But all she could do was stand and stare and stare at her and watch her little girl hate her mother for her cowardice. How could she let this happen? She’d been asking herself that question for so long. Deep down she thought she deserved her childs rage. This and perhaps even worse. But just like that the anger in Kaisa’s eyes melted away. Like a wave crashing on the shore, just to pull back again. 

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, mom. I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry…”
Nonni shook her head and hugged her, pulled her closer to her chest and for a moment they just stood there. She stroked Kaisa’s head and noticed Orla and Thorinn stare at them from the corner of her eye. It was a side of their little family they hadn’t seen before, but one that nonetheless demanded space. There was a bitter feeling settling in her stomach. One that felt like a threat. Like they had crossed a threshold where their little peaceful life would crumble before their eyes and all the bitter truths would have to come out, no matter how much they hurt. 

“Kaisa,” Nonni heard the cat say, as it circled their legs and hopped onto the couch to sit down right between Orla and Thorinn. “I think it’s time for you to understand how you found your way into your mother’s life. It might bring all of what’s happening and what might still be coming our way into perspective. Or so I hope.”